From birth, “touch” has been the most effective comforting agent.
Compared to the familiar senses of sight, hearing, and taste, touch is often overlooked.
In fact, however, touch is the first sense we develop in the womb. It is also the earliest form of social interaction we establish with the world. In other words, we are “constantly in touch.”
After birth, touch becomes even more important. Research has shown that infants who receive extra skin-to-skin contact with their mothers have better autonomic nervous system function. This benefit persists 10 years later.
Additionally, a mother’s touch can significantly alleviate an infant’s pain and help calm them down.
Therefore, you will notice that infants greatly need close physical contact with their parents. They enjoy the intimacy of skin-to-skin contact in their parents’ arms through “frog-style” or “kangaroo-style” cuddling. Later, they enjoy “massage exercises” to receive ample affection and massage. These touches can greatly soothe the anxiety of infants who have just left the womb.
Does that mean we no longer need touch as we grow older? Absolutely not. Touch remains effective throughout our lives.
Our bodies have specialized structures called C-tactile afferent fibers that recognize gentle touch.
Gentle touch stimulates the secretion of oxytocin and promotes dopamine secretion. It also improves the serotonin system and reduces the production of the stress hormone cortisol. This makes it easier to maintain emotional stability, relaxation, optimism, and joy.
So, never underestimate the power of a simple touch or hug. It is a language of love.
Even gentle touch from a stranger can bring physical and mental pleasure.
After work or on weekends, getting a foot massage or a massage can make you feel rejuvenated the next day. This is not without basis; psychologists have found that gentle touch from others can “heal” both our bodies and minds.
It can lower cholesterol, blood pressure, and heart rate, while also boosting immunity, making us less prone to colds and less severely affected if infected. Even if you’re not sick, but just feeling a bit off, in pain, or tired, touch can make those bad feelings go away.
Even a stranger’s touch can improve our mental health, especially for people with low self-esteem, reducing their anxiety, even “death anxiety.” It’s like putting a “mental Band-Aid” on us.
Conversely, when touch is lacking, we experience “touch deprivation” [9]. This is common during pandemics or natural disasters. “Touch deprivation” can lead to difficulty concentrating, emotional numbness, isolation, and social withdrawal.
As writer Akman put it, “Touch is as important as sunlight.”
Of course, some people actively choose to be in a state of touch hunger. They cannot be touched properly and feel intense discomfort. This may be because they have experienced a series of traumas in their attachment history, such as painful touch or touch being associated with unpleasant outcomes.
For adults, “touch” is more of a social force.
Those who have watched Hayao Miyazaki’s films will not forget the scenes of “hugs.” From the real-life farewell between a mother and her child to the embrace between an old woman and a young girl, the touch between them warms the relationship until it reaches its climax.
It is clear that touch is the “glue” of social relationships. In fact, it is an indispensable ability. Psychologist Hertenstein discovered that we can identify and interpret emotions through touch, with an accuracy rate as high as 78%.
He also pointed out that touch is more universal and convenient than voice, facial expressions, and other ways of expressing emotions. Whether it’s a firm handshake, an encouraging pat on the back, a gentle nudge to get attention, a tender kiss, caress, or a light tap on the shoulder, touch is more powerful than words.
In competitive sports, physical contact such as chest bumps, high-fives, and back pats can significantly enhance teamwork and connection among teammates, increasing the likelihood of winning the game.
In daily life, you may also notice that a simple touch on the head can convey support, care, and comfort more effectively than words. Even if you are thousands of miles apart, a “pat” emoji can greatly improve the other person’s mood. Touch is indeed the best way to express comfort.
Those who are touched are also more likely to engage in prosocial behaviors. If you touch someone while making a request, even if you don’t know them, they are more likely to help you. Research has also found that when librarians issue library cards, touching a student’s hand can improve their perception of the library.
Even if you are socially anxious and feel stressed or avoidant about social situations, others’ touch can make you feel “accepted,” encouraging you to be more proactive and willing to integrate into unfamiliar environments.
In intimate relationships, touch promotes “healthy attachment.”
In the movie “My Husband Has Depression,” the most iconic scene is when the wife, Xiaoqing, leans against her husband, Ganfu, who is suffering from depression. In this mutual embrace, the two grow to cherish each other more and move forward together.
Indeed, “touch” can make our intimate relationships safer and promote attachment with our partners. Patting your partner’s shoulder or touching their head can convey your care, concern, and affection to them.
Moreover, the happiness brought by this “touch” is mutual. The person being touched feels warmth, while the person touching also alleviates anxiety and is less likely to enter a state of stress.
The more affectionate touch there is in a relationship, the more satisfied, loyal, and intimate the relationship becomes, and the easier it is to resolve conflicts [5]. Couples who spend more time on affectionate touch after sexual activity also have higher sexual satisfaction.
However, while touch can maintain intimacy and connection for those with anxious attachment styles, those with avoidant attachment styles may perceive touch as a threat to their independence, are less inclined to provide touch, and may even find it aversive.
Chronic lack of touch makes it difficult to derive pleasure from it.
Stray cats and dogs often stiffen up when touched by humans. Humans are no different. If we live in an environment with little touch, touch will no longer bring us happiness.
Research has found that individuals who receive less interpersonal touch, despite having no differences in their perception of touch—such as intensity and sensitivity—compared to others, still find touch less pleasurable. Even touch from family, partners, or close friends cannot help them relax.
In fact, people who have been deprived of touch for a long time may even feel pain from “touching” or “being touched.” Especially when someone has had little stable touch from their parents during their upbringing, touch no longer brings pleasure but instead represents an ‘invasive’ external stimulus, triggering a “fight or flight” response in the body and mind, causing them to become “fully armed.”
The key to regaining the joy of touch lies in increasing its frequency.
At this point, you might be wondering, what should you do if you lack touch and cannot benefit from it?
The answer is simple: touch more!
Research has shown that increasing the frequency of touch in daily life can amplify the benefits it brings us. More touch experiences can reduce anxiety and depression, and even alleviate physical and mental pain.
However, longer touch sessions don’t necessarily bring more joy. In fact, prolonged touch can diminish the sense of happiness. This is because our brains and sympathetic nervous systems develop habits, leading to diminishing returns and reduced effectiveness.
Who initiates the touch isn’t crucial. Whether it’s an intimate partner or a massage therapist from a group, touch can be experienced through various means. If all else fails, self-touch can be equally effective.
If you truly cannot tolerate human touch, non-human sources can also be effective! Research has shown that touch from objects or robots is also beneficial. Snuggling with a hotel robot, cuddling a plush toy while sleeping, or wrapping yourself in a thick, soft blanket can all effortlessly bring you happiness!
By now, whether you’re with someone close to you or alone, go ahead and create a little magical touch for yourself! Don’t forget to share this with your friends and spread the healing power ❤️
