{"id":22,"date":"2025-06-03T18:47:00","date_gmt":"2025-06-03T22:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/datingloving.com\/?p=22"},"modified":"2025-07-07T05:10:08","modified_gmt":"2025-07-07T09:10:08","slug":"sexual-intercourse-why-does-it-cause-people-to-make-unseemly-noises","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/datingloving.com\/index.php\/2025\/06\/03\/sexual-intercourse-why-does-it-cause-people-to-make-unseemly-noises\/","title":{"rendered":"Why does sexual intercourse cause people to make “unseemly noises”?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A sound used by all primates
Humans use it too, and it’s considered acceptable<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The tendency to make “unseemly noises” during sex has a neurological and evolutionary basis.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

American social psychologist Walster once proposed a hypothesis that, regardless of the cause of physiological arousal, humans may interpret it as sexual arousal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This hypothesis can explain various sexual preferences, such as arousal from unusual pain, visual stimuli, and odors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Neuroscientific studies on pain and sexuality have discovered that, when sexual and pain stimulation occur simultaneously, sexual stimulation can alleviate the intensity of pain, whether the stimulation is real or imagined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This creates a complex connection between pain and sexuality. Moderate to mild pain during sexual activity, such as light biting, pinching, slapping, and the sexual act itself, can stimulate the release of endorphins, creating a euphoric sensation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, people may set aside rationality to enjoy the natural, healthy feelings that endorphins provide. This can lead to the emission of sounds that are not suitable for public settings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In everyday language, these sounds are typically used to describe injury or pain. Examples include moaning, grunting, whimpering, and roaring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emitting such sounds indicates that an individual is experiencing pain arousal in their sensory system. In the context of sexual activity, however, pain arousal is more easily interpreted as sexual arousal or pleasure, which is why people enjoy making and hearing such sounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From an evolutionary perspective, making such sounds is an inherited behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research has found that female wild apes and female gorillas emit similar sounds before, during, and after mating, a reproductive strategy observed in primates and pre-human species.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the one hand, vocalizations before mating are used to attract nearby male gorillas. Since multiple males may be attracted, the female will ultimately choose the winner of the competition, thereby selecting the best genetic partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Fun fact: When male mammals sense competitors, they produce more and better quality sperm to ensure their offspring are born. This is called sperm competition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Early humans’ practices were similar to gorillas’, but they also faced different challenges.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As evolution progressed and the brains of early humans grew larger, female humans had to give birth before their offspring were fully developed. To ensure the survival of their offspring, female humans had to ensure that males were present to care for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thus, during mating, both parties emit “unseemly sounds,” which are regarded as a form of “love expression.” Wild humans establish relatively stable “marital” relationships based on this, enabling the male to provide care during the female’s vulnerable pregnancy period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, unlike animals, the female’s ovulation period is hidden from both parties. Frequently emitting such mating calls to a specific male allows the female to consistently mate with him, increasing his confidence that the newborn is his offspring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, rather than attracting more partners or triggering sperm competition, a female’s “unseemly sounds” during sex are more of an emotional temptation. The ultimate goal is to produce healthy offspring.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was those pre-human ancestors who chose to make these sounds during sex that survived the evolutionary filter. Our nervous systems are such that pain and sexual pleasure are highly correlated, so we unconsciously emit sounds that originally signify pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The sounds modern humans emit
have some performative elements<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

However, experienced individuals know that in real life, many of these unseemly sounds are often emitted consciously.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just like sexual desire and appetite, modern humans often attach cultural and social attributes to these primal instincts. Nowadays, the sounds women make that are not suitable for public consumption often carry a sense of being \u201cworth savoring.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In some places where it is legally permitted, lonely individuals can use paid phone services to listen to operators specifically moan and groan for them, thereby achieving sexual pleasure. Sometimes they also arrange to meet like-minded people online and engage in phone sex through the sounds transmitted over the receiver.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research has found that during sexual intercourse or sexual contact, the sounds women make that are not suitable for public consumption represent their sexual consent. Therefore, these sounds, in the eyes of men, carry a strong implication that \u201cshe is enjoying it\u201d or \u201cshe likes my performance,\u201d which can greatly stimulate male desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Women, on the other hand, prefer deep male voices. When men emit deep, pleasurable sounds during intercourse, it allows women to sense their level of commitment and whether they are strong and reliable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In such a cultural context, even if the stimulation is insufficient to cause women to regress or lose control, they may still engage in some \u201cvocal performance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This performance is similar to \u201cfaking an orgasm.\u201d Research shows that women are most likely to achieve orgasm when stimulating their clitoris themselves or when their partner stimulates it, while traditional intercourse has the lowest probability of leading to orgasm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, they often initiate vocal and physical performances when they detect their partner is about to climax, helping them reach orgasm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Clearly, these sounds are not synchronized with the woman’s pleasure, yet she still chooses to deliberately produce them to please her partner and protect their self-esteem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, other studies have found that even if these sounds have little to do with orgasm itself, when women are fully engaged, consciously making these sounds can enhance their sexual pleasure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sounds that are not appropriate for public display have an element of performance, orgasms have an element of performance, and there are many other forms of performance in sexual matters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, Elliott and Umberson from the University of Texas proposed the concept of \u201csexual desire performance.\u201d Researchers suggest that in long-term intimate relationships, as sexual desire becomes increasingly mismatched between partners\u2014where one partner no longer desires intimacy while the other does\u2014the desiring partner may engage in \u201csexual desire performance\u201d for various reasons, meaning they act as though they have a strong sexual desire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Occasional sexual desire performance, including occasional vocalizations or orgasm performances, can actually benefit the quality of both sexual and relationship dynamics.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In this sense, understanding \u201csexual desire performance\u201d can indeed be a way to enhance one’s sexual appeal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In long-term relationships, these various forms of performance can be seen as extra efforts made for the relationship. They are akin to the emotional labor we perform in daily life, such as checking in on our partner’s well-being, caring about their mood, and sending good morning or good night messages to reassure them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In long-term relationships, especially marital relationships, a certain amount of emotional labor is necessary. Because the emotional well-being of the other person is an essential dimension of a healthy marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For example, even though we have established a division of household chores, we take on the other person’s share when they are facing work-related stress;<\/p>\n\n\n\n

or when the other person is experiencing significant emotional fluctuations, we proactively provide a soothing and safe environment for them to express themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Additionally, in matters of intimacy, we may perform for the other person in appropriate ways, using these extra efforts to provide them with strength.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Research has found that regardless of a woman’s personal circumstances, she tends to do more emotional labor; while men typically only actively provide emotional support when the woman is the primary breadwinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

From this perspective, it is also women who make more unspeakable sounds during sex. However, women also love to hear men’s unspeakable sounds, so we hope men will make more effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sexual desire and interest can certainly be acted out,
but there must be a limit.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Just as efforts to support the other person’s emotions should not be excessive, our performance in sex should also not be excessive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do we determine when our performance has become excessive?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Healthy performance:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2705 Our performance is driven by love and care, not out of a sense of obligation to \u201cpraise myself\u201d or even fear of \u201cwhat will happen if I don’t perform\u201d;
\u2705 When we perform or give, our hearts are relatively calm, and we even feel a sense of accomplishment when we see the other person’s mood improve;
\u2705 After giving or performing, the other person reciprocates with equal energy during afterplay or in other ways;
\u2705 Our giving and performing do not harm our self-identity or core needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Exhausting Performance:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\ud83d\ude35\u200d\ud83d\udcab In matters of sex, long-term suppression of one’s feelings and needs, coupled with one-sided compromise, creates a sense of \u201cforcing a smile\u201d;
\ud83d\ude35 The other person takes your efforts for granted, without reciprocation or acknowledgment, and may even believe that it is because of their own \u201csuperiority\u201d that you behave this way, implying that you should be grateful to them;
\ud83e\udd71 After sexual activity, one may experience a diminished sense of self-worth, which can extend to all aspects of life, leaving one feeling lonely and empty even when with the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whether in terms of sex or the relationship itself, mutual, equal efforts made for the other person’s emotions and feelings are necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can put on a show to please the other person, or make some concessions and endure some hardships. After all, who doesn’t want their partner to be happier?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But remember, we want the other person to be happy because we feel nourished by this relationship. The occasional performances and extra efforts we make are a reward for the other person taking good care of us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, our performances and efforts to please the other person must ultimately lead to a win-win situation. Those who take us for granted do not deserve to hear even a single beautiful spring song from us.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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